Party Ideas

Appeared in Volume 8/2, May 1995

You can judge the success of a technical idea (e.g. quantum physics, DNA, penicillin) by how often it's mentioned at parties. The average party-goer has little understanding of these concepts and so feels obliged to accost the (computer) scientist guest (namely me) to explain their intricacies. Fortunately, such deadly conversational gambits are deployed towards the end of a party when I can happily finesse, elaborate and thankfully invent an explanation.

When these conversations lumber towards computer ideas they start to act as a revealing feedback mechanism; a way of discovering what half-baked notions have settled in suburbia.

A popular idea is 'virtual reality', not so much a new realm of imagination as the old one rendered with coloured polygons. Another way of characterising this wondrous development is as just like multimedia but with ten times the hype and at ten times the cost.

More sophisticated computer users often become fixated on modems, especially their size. I suggest saving money by whistling the commands down the phone line. It's cost-effective and develops a skill that may be useful on the stage.

A new topic is the Information Super (Duper) Highway. Almost certainly, the computer press likes it because of the plentiful opportunities it offers for punning. Some story headlines: 'Cruising the Info Highway', 'Roadside Hazards of the Super Highway', 'Wrong Way Down the Info Highway', 'Info Highway Gridlock' and 'Highway Robbery?'. Typically, the party-goer wants a list of extras his computer needs in order to join this Highway. Firstly, I insist on the importance of seat belts, and air bags, and those special seats for babies (you cannot be too careful). A ski-rack is useful, unless you live in an arid climate, when perhaps a sun-roof might be considered.

Andrew Davison